(Don't) Remember Me
by Tsukareta no Kamisama Kiito
Summary: Russia is losing his memory because of an accident. Thus, Indonesia, who was once his lover, is trying his best to forget about the past, but he ended up cannot move on. Before he said goodbye to Russia, Indonesia sent him a bouquet of flowers. RusIndo pairing, rate M for safe.
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

_**Please… /Don't/ Remember Me.**_

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 _ **A Hetalia FanFiction.**_

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 _ **Pairing:**_

 _ **Russia x Indonesia**_

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 _ **Languange:**_

 _ **English**_

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 _ **Warning:**_

 _ **Bad grammars, typographical error, probably bad narrations, some Out of Character, AU! Universe.**_

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 _ **Kindly give me a review, okay~?**_

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 **Summary:**

 **Russia and Indonesia was lovers. Both of them looked so lively, and they rarely fights. But one day, both of them fight because of some misunderstanding. When Russia's about to grab his lover's wrist, his feet slipped, making him falls from the stairs hardly and damaged his brain. And the next thing when he awake was…**

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" _Indonesiya, wait!"_

 _The said male just increased his speed, running away from the taller person that was chasing him._

" _Leave me alone, Russia! You can go and have some fun with America!" Indonesia said, turning his feet to walked upstairs towards his apartment room._

" _Wait, you're misunderstanding us! America and I never been—" Russia stopped, when his feet accidentally slips from the stairs. The indonesian male turned his back, founding his lover already lying with fresh red liquid flowing from his head._

" _IVAN!"_

He regretted it. If only Indonesia didn't run so hastily on the stairs, Russia wouldn't be lying on the hospital right now.

The slightly-tanned male sighed deeply. His hand grabbed his unconcious lover's hand, worried looks plastered on his face.

"Russia, please… Wake up…" He called out softly, his other hand caressed the russian's hair gently.

"I won't forgive you if you died." He said again, hanging his head.

"Sir Indonesia?"

The said male turned his head, founding the doctor walking inside the room.

"I have good news, and bad news for you, sir."

Oh, god.

"…Please tell me the good news first." He said.

"Yes. The good news is, sir Russia will awake soon, in three or four days later." The doctor said.

"The bad news is…?"

"…Russia is having an amnesia."

Those brownish orbs widened. Amnesia? _Ivan?_ Doesn't that mean he will forget about him?

"Most of his latest memories are lost. But his childhood memories still intact, so… There's a high probability he won't remember you, sir."

 _Ya gusti._

"Now, if you excuse me…"

Indonesia just stayed silent. He looked at Russia, with slight ragged breath and widened orbs. His hand that was grabbing Russia's, slowly releasing it as he holds his own hand. He hangs his head down, before started to sobbing in silence.

Four days later, just like the doctor said, Russia did wake up. When he was awake, he remembers Belarus, Ukraine, Lithuania, and others.

 _But he didn't remember this slightly-tanned male_.

"Who are you?" He asked to the other male, that seemed like forcing a smile.

"I'm Indonesia. Your… Friend and ally."

He can't bring himself to told the truth. Maybe this is the best way for Russia to search another lover rather than him. Indonesia thought that he only brings pain and sadness to the large country, so it'll be better if their relationship is just allies.

 _Not much than that. Not much than being a friend._

Even if it hurts Indonesia so much.

"Brother…" His twin sister called out softly, as she enters his brother's room. The said male only replied with a forced smile, as the female walked to his side.

"Brother, it's better if you just told Russia the truth." She said, patting her brother's shoulder.

"No. It's better this way. He could find another lover… That brings him only happiness and love." The Indonesian male said, sighing deeply.

His twin just stayed silent. A sigh also escaped from her lips, as her hands stroked her twin's shoulder gently.

"Brother, Indonesia is here to see you." Belarus said towards Russia, that was staring outside the window. The said male face brightens when hears the familiar name, as he went out from his room to meet his "friend".

"Indonesiya!" He called out with a smile, as he glomped the smaller male. Indonesia flinched for a second, his heartbeat is beating fast when the russian hugged him.

"Russia, let me go—" Indonesia said, trying to pushing Russia away. But the taller male didn't budge, instead, he hugged more tightly.

"No. I miss you. There's no way I let you go…"

 _Please stop this, Russia._

"Release me, Ivan. I… Don't like being hugged." The lad said, completely lying. The truth is he wants to hug back, but that just make him failed to forget the past he went with the taller male.

"B-but, America hugged you last time and you didn't protested." Russia said, releasing the hug slightly to look at Indonesia.

"America is in different case. I don't like being hugged by you… That's all."

 _Only if you remember who I am._

Those violet eyes widened. He released the hug slowly, and making some space to both of them.

Did he do something wrong that upsets Indonesia?

"I'm here for business. If my job here is done, I'll take my leave soon." Indonesia said, his tone sounded cold and unfriendly. Russia only nodded his head, before guiding his "ally" to the necessary room.

"Thank you for helping me. I shall take my leave now." Indonesia said, bowing his head a bit and walked to the door. But before he leaves the room, Russia grabbed the other male's wrist tightly.

"Indonesiya, is there something I've done that makes you upset?" He asked. Indonesia stayed silent, gazing away.

"…No."

"Then why are you so cold to me?! You always kind to America, England, China, Japan… But you're so cold when it comes to me. Why?" He asked again.

"You want me to be kind to you?" Indonesia asked, before turning his head towards Russia.

" _Then I ask you; what do you remember about me?"_

Russia flinched. What do he remember about him?

"Uh… You're my friend, and my… Ally…"

"…Exactly. Then it doesn't matter if I act rude around you, right? You don't remember me that much!" Indonesia said, releasing his hand from Russia's grip.

"In fact, you don't remember what am I to you in the past. It's all my fault…" The indonesian covered his face, leaning on the wall as he slides down to the floor.

Russia slowly walked closer towards the smalled male, squatting right infront of him. His hands grabbed both of the indonesian's hands, removing both of his hands away from his face, showing that Indonesia is crying.

"It'll be useless if you didn't remember me…" He mumbled. Something inside the russian's heart brokes looking at the smaller male's crying face. He slowly leaned his face closer, as the next second he was kissing Indonesia softly.

The smaller lad didn't fight back either. He just accepted it, tears keep flooding from both of his eyes. He closed those brownish orbs, as Russia started to deepened the kiss.

Russia opened his mouth, as his tongue tries to forces it's way inside the other's mouth, and when he succeded, he licked the indonesian's tongue and insides. The kiss turned heated, slowly started filled with lust. Russia stopped, inching his face away to look at Indonesia, which is still crying with reddenish face.

"Indonesiya…" He whispered yet so lowly, before he kissed the other male again right on the lips.

It was sweet. Like a jasmine tea, and mixed with a taste of chocolates slightly. Russia himself never knew that kissing this male could be this good.

"S-stop—"

Hearing those soft pleads makes him want to do more. As he releases the heated kiss, his lips kissed the smaller male's jaw, as his other hand slowly releasing Indonesia's hand and untied the bandage off from the other lad's neck. His lips moved to kiss his neck, kissing those painfully-like scars softly, before softly nipping on it.

"Russia— stop this—"

"No." The russian replied immediately, now his hands moved to unbutton Indonesia's brownish vest and white shirt. He also took off the black tie, and tied both of Indonesia's wrist.

"This is wrong— you shouldn't do this thing—" Indonesia said, his face is completely red, but looked almost like he was on verge of tears. Russia stayed silent, before his hand cupped the smaller male's cheek.

"…Why? Do you hate it?" He asked. The indonesian stayed silent, before he turned his head away.

"You aren't my lover or something…"

"If we are lovers, would you allow me?" He asked, forcing Indonesia to face him. The brunette closed both of his eyes, before he shook his head.

"No… I don't deserve to be your lover." He said, before he tried to untie his wrists.

"You can find someone better than me." He said again, now his hands are free, as he stood up. He fixed his shirt and vest, before wearing the necktie again.

"Now, excuse me…" Indonesia said, as he walked out from the room, leaving Russia there. The platinum-haired lad stayed silent, stood himself as he watched the smaller figure walked away, before dissappearing from his sight.

— _ **To Be Continued—**_


	2. Chapter 2: This Is Wrong

_**Please… (Don't) Remember Me**_

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 _ **Warning**_ _ **:**_

 _ **THIS CHAPTER IS SMUT!**_

 _ **And some typographical errors, out of character, bad narrations, English is not my mother's tongue, don't judge my english you grammar nazi**_

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 _ **A Hetalia FanFiction**_

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 _ **Pairing:**_

 _ **RusIndo**_

 _ **(Russia x Indonesia)**_

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 _ **Kindly leave me a review, alright?**_

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" _Wait… You seriously wanted to marry me?" The slightly-tanned male asked in disbelief. The russian nodded his head, a wide smile plastered on his face._

" _God. But Ivan… We're countries. And a far one, on top of that…" Indonesia said, staring at his lover._

" _You can leave your country to Kirana. It's time for her to stand on her own, da?" Russia replied with a smile. The indonesian stayed silent for a second, before he hugged the taller male._

"… _Thanks. Я любю тебя, Россия."_

" _Да." Russia replied, hugging back the smaller male._

It's been a month. Indonesia now never visited Russia, since his twin does all of those international visits now beside him.

Well, it's not like Indonesia really missed _that_ person.

…Actually, he is.

"Already a month, huh…? Time sure flies so fast." He mumbled lowly, before shaking his head lightly and started to do the paperworks that scattered on his table again.

"Wait, you can't just barge in—"

"I want to meet him, just for awhile—"

Oh, now what is those ruckus outside his room?

"…That voice seemed familiar…" He mumbled, blinking his eyes for a few times. The room door suddenly opened, revealing a tall man with platinum hair that was familiar on his eyes.

"Indonesiya!" The taller male called out, making the said male flinched. Russia? Why is he here?

"I'm sorry brother, I keep telling him to not bother you but—" Kirana stopped, when Indonesia raised his hand.

"It's fine, Kirana. I'll talk to him… You can leave." He said, smiling towards his twin. The female stayed silent for awhile, before nodding her head and leaves the room, not forgetting to closing the door.

Indonesia stood up from his chair, before walked towards the russian. He looked up a bit, the same cold gaze he throw to the other.

"Why are you here?" He asked. Russia didn't replied, instead he hugged the smaller male not so tightly.

"You're not visiting me for a month… I miss you…"

 _Please stop saying those words._

"Russia, you're not a child. I don't have time to visit you once or twice in a month." Indonesia sighed, trying to calm his heartbeat.

" _Why are you avoiding me?"_

Hearing that question, Indonesia startled. Why did he asked that suddenly? The slightly-tanned male tried to calm himself down, before replied.

"I'm not avoiding you, Russia."

"Yes, you are!" Russia replied immediately, releasing the hug and grabbed both of the smaller male's shoulders. His violet eyes looked straight to his brownish orbs, an unreadable emotions can be seen inside those purplish eyes.

"You are— no, you _were_ avoiding me. Why…?" He asked, his tone of speaking almost like pleading.

 _Don't ask me that question, Ivan._

"I'm not…"

"Don't look away from me. Look at my eyes, Indonesiya." The russian said, his hand cupping the other male's cheek and forces him to look at him back.

"Tell me. Why you look like this? Everytime I asked you the same question…" Russia stopped for a second, leaning his face a bit.

"…You looked like you want to cry…"

 _Because it hurts me too much only looking at your face._

"I'm not crying. Some dusts gets inside my eyes." He lied, rolling his eyes away.

"And back off. You're too close."

Russia didn't budge. Instead, he's inching his face closer, until both of their foreheads touched.

"Ivan…"

"Answer my question, _Putra._ "

The said male once again flinched. _Did he just said his human name?_

"Okay, I'll answer it. You don't remember who I am, and it hurts me so much when you said you forget about me." Indonesia said, closing both of his eyes. Tears once again start flooding on his eyes.

"Then make me remember. After hearing stories from _sestra,_ I want to know once again what season we both spend together." Russia said, his thumb wiped the other male's tears gently.

 _If only I could turn back time…_

"It's useless, Russia." The indonesian shook his head lightly, opening both of his eyes again.

"You can't remember me. It's better for you to forget about me, and find someone better." He said again, before a kiss was landed on his forehead.

" _Sestra said I proposed you."_

Both of those brownish eyes widens. He looked at Russia, who was touching his forehead again on his.

"Russia…"

The russian stayed silent. Indonesia closed both of his eyes again, tears falling down like a stream from his eyes. The taller man planted a kiss on the other's lips softly, as he pushed the smaller lad on the table. Those paperworks immediately scattered on the floor, as the kiss turned into a heated one that filled with lust.

"Ivan—" Indonesia called out, his hands now wrapping around the taller one's neck. Russia grabbed the brunette's back head, deepening the kiss as he pushed Indonesia down to the table, making the smaller lad lying down on the table. The kiss lasted for awhile, until Russia stopped and inching his face away for a bit.

"No, we can't do this—" he whined, but the russian didn't listen. Instead, his gloved hands grabbed the side of Indonesia's head, tilting it slightly and planted another kiss. Some muffled moans can be heard, as now Russia's hand is slicking Indonesia's bangs away to seen more of his face. He released the kiss, with a slight ragged breath.

"Простите меня." The russian mumbled. Somehow it kinda turns him on looking at this smaller male, with a reddenish face and crying face, mixed together. His thumb wiped those tears away, as he kissed Indonesia's scars and his right eye softly.

"But I can't stand it when I'm around you." He said again, as his hand untied the bandage that wrapped around the other's neck. He forced Indonesia to tilt his head to side, before his lips starts to attack his sensitive spot. He licked and nipped that tanned skin, sometimes kissing the scars on his neck softly.

The smaller man moaned softly. He startled, before closing his mouth with one of his hands. Russia noticed this, as his other hand grabbing Indonesia's hand, taking it off away from his mouth.

"Don't hold it. Please… Let me hear you." The russian pleaded, with slightly pink-tinted cheeks. The indonesian stayed silent, before he gritted his teeth lightly. Russia's other hand is unbuttoning Indonesia's brown vest, and his white shirt. After he unbutton it, his hand wanders around his chest, his fingers rubbing the other's bud teasingly.

"Noo— not there—" Indonesia whined. Russia shivered for a second, and somehow his sadist side are being triggered. His hand flicked the perked bud, earning a moan from the smaller lad. A smirk plastered on Russia's face, before his lips kissed Indonesia's shoulder blades and moving down to his chest— and to his abandoned bud. His lips kissed the other nipple while his hand teasingly playing with it, earning more moans from the slightly-tanned male.

 _Did he really has a lover this cute?_

Russia licked his nipple, swirling his tongue around it. Indonesia released more moan, arching his back a bit. Those moans really turned him on, and even himself can't believe there's a man that can be sensitive like a woman.

"How cute." Russia chuckled lightly, as his hand pinched the other's nipple, and now he used both of his hands to play with those perked buds.

"Quit teasing me." Indonesia hissed with a face that looked red, almost like a tomato. The russian only smiled, before he stripped the male underneath him. Both of those brownish eyes widens, and when he's about to cover himself, Russia tied both of his arms with his scarf.

"Don't rip this, or I'll be mad." The taller male said with a smile. Indonesia snorted, before a loud moan escaped from his lips when his sensitive parts down there is being rubbed.

"I guess it's not safe here, da?" Russia said, smirking. The smaller male whined, wanting to be touched.

"Tell me, where are your room?" He asked, before pulling Indonesia to his embrace.

"Out from this room… Turn left, at the end of the hall— the right one." Indonesia said while panting. Russia frowned a bit with a slight blush, before he carried Indonesia on his shoulder, walking to just like the smaller male said.

As he enters the room, he throws the smaller male on the bed, locking the door. Indonesia winced because of the pain, and shocked when founding Russia is stripping himself. His brown eyes looked at those pretty muscular body, and flinched when hearing the other chuckled.

"Like what you see, _Putra?"_

 _Your abs, dumbass._

"Nothing." Indonesia turned his head away, and the next second he was pinned down once again.

"Ivan—" right when he's about to say something, his lips are once again being captured. The smaller lad closed both of his eyes, melting into the kiss. Russia's hand wanders on the stomach of the person that underneath him, as he unbuckled those brown pants and pulled it away, throwing it somewhere forgotten.

"You're so cute…" Russia whispered in a husky voice, right beside the indonesian's ear. Indonesia pushes the bigger male away from him a bit, and flinched when his lower parts are being touched once again. The brunette bit his lower lip, trying to surpress all of his moans.

"Holding your voice again?" The platinum-haired one asked, frowning in annoyance.

"I told you, we shouldn't do this… We're not lovers." Indonesia said, almost like whispering.

"You _are_ my lover. _Sestra_ already told me everything, Indonesiya. There's no use for lying to me." Russia said, his lips is kissing the other's chest, earning some muffled moans.

"Please make me remember you. _I want to know you more, just like before._ "

* * *

After some touching and kissing, the russian blowed a short sigh. He entered one of his fingers, as the other male yelped and muffled his moan on the pillow. Russia smirked, adding more digits and starts moving his fingers, scretching Indonesia's hole.

The brunette raised his head slightly, whining for the russian to stop teasing him. The said male only shook his head, and smiled.

"If I don't prepare you well, you'll scream in pain, and I don't want that." Russia said.

"I thought you were a sadist or something…" Indonesia mumbled with a ragged breath, and a loud moan escaped from his lips when the other fingers touched a certain spot.

"Ngh— Russia—" the slightly-tanned male whined. Russia noticed this, as his fingers tries to poke that spoke again. The brunette moaned again, when that spot keep being poked.

"I guess you're prepared." The russian said, as he positioned himself and starts entering slowly. Some whining of pain can be heard, but Russia keeps pushing himself until he's fully inside.

"God, you're tight." The platinum-haired said, before his violet eyes noticed that the male beneath him are trembling.

"Indonesiya…" He called out, his hand tracing on the smaller male's back, touching the burn mark softly. Russia flipped the position, as now Indonesia is facing him. The brunette was blushing hardly, and he immediately covered his face. Russia chuckled, as he removed both of those arms away.

"Don't hide your face. Let me see." He said. Indonesia stayed silent, and startled when both of his tied hands are being pinned.

" _I'll move, okay?"_

The indonesian gulped. He nodded his head slowly, and shivered when the russian starts moving in slow speed. Some pain and pleasure mixed together, but that pain immediately gone after a few seconds. The brunette moved his hips, as he moaned. Russia noted this, as he starts to taking his speed. He thrusted from different angles, trying to search the same spot which he hit with his fingers.

"Ah— ah! Ah! Nggh— ah!" Countless moans escaped the tanned male's lips. Russia putted both of Indonesia's hips on his shoulders, thrusting more deeper as he could. The indonesian whined, before he pulled Russia's neck and kissed him, trying to muffle his moans. The kiss turned into a heated one, as Russia's hand once again wanders on the other chest. His hand went to the perked bud, pinching it or rubbing it teasingly.

"Rus—" Indonesia whined a bit, as the kiss stopped. Russia stopped thrusting, making the smaller male whined. He pulled Indonesia up to his embrace, as he started to move his hips again. The brunette moaned, and also moved his hips in sync with the russian.

"Nyah—! Russia, right there—!" Indonesia whined, when his sensitive spot is being hit.

"Here—?" Russia asked in a low tone, hitting the same spot again and again. His thrust became more faster and deeper each seconds, and the tanned male shuddered when a certain sensations knotted in his stomach.

"I-I can't hold it anymore—" Indonesia whined right beside Russia's ear, making the russian frowned slightly. He hugged the smaller male, as he whispered right beside Indonesia's ear.

"Say my human name, Putra." He whispered, making the said male shudder. He's close to his climax, as the brunette hugged the russian back.

"Ivan—" he whispered, before he arched his back and raised his head.

"Ivan— ah! I can't take it anymore!" Indonesia said loudly, as he yelled the russian's human name when he reached his limits.

"Hold on—" Russia thrusted a bit more, before he spilled all of his seeds inside him while saying the indonesian's human name.

Both of them panted heavily, as they fall down to the bed. Russia pulled out, as his violet eyes looked at the owner of those brownish orbs, panting heavily with a reddenish face.

"Indonesiya…" He called out softly, before kissed the other male forehead.

" _Я любю тебя."_

Indonesia didn't say a thing. He closed both of his eyes, before slowly drifted to sleep.

 _God, if this is a dream, please let me dream longer._

— _ **To Be Continued—**_

 _ **Author:**_

 _ **Finally! This chapter's done. This story only got three chapters only, fam.**_

 _ **Anyhow, the next chapter contains character deaths, so…**_

 _ **Pleasedontkillmeokay.**_


	3. Chapter 3: The End

_**(Don't) Remember Me**_

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 _ **A Hetalia FanFiction**_

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 _ **Pairing:**_

 _ **RusIndo**_

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 _ **Warning:**_

 _ **Yaoi shipping, angst, character deaths, end of the Chapter.**_

 _ **Rin:**_

 _ **Hey. Sorry for the late update. I'm being sick lately, so I got no time to touch my laptop-kun, Rio.**_

 _ **Anyhoo, here's ya story.**_

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" _Я любю теья."_

Indonesia opened both of his eyes when a slight sunlight hits his eyes. He flinched for a second when realized that he was hugged by the russian.

Those slightly-tanned cheek blushed lightly, remembering what did they do last night. Indonesia tries to get up, but a horrible pain strikes his hips.

'I should've known that he would be rough.' He thought while sweatdropping, blowing a long sigh. He sats on the bed, looking at Russia for a second, until he got up and walks to the bathroom.

 _Well, he needs to clean up the 'mess', wouldn't he?_

Those dull looking orbs looking at the reflection in the mirror. Indonesia reached out his hand, touching his own reflection.

'Did my eyes always looked lifeless like that?' He thought, before shook his head lightly.

The male indonesian turned the shower on, letting the not-so-cold water fell to his head and flowing down to his feet. He didn't noticed that someone entered the bathroom, and the next second that Indonesia flinched when a large body hugged him from behind.

"…You're awake, Russia?" The smaller male asked, raising his head a bit. Russia only smiled, before forced Indonesia to face him, as he planted a kiss on the other's lips.

"Da. I panicked for a second when I didn't found you anywhere."

 _Why are you so kind?_

"I get it, now release me. It's hot if you hugged me." He said with a slight blush.

"Would it be that nice?" Russia smiled, looking at Indonesia that was turning his head away.

" _That makes you in mood, right?"_

Indonesia didn't answered. Only the sound of streaming water can be heard, before Russia chuckled.

"I'm joking. Don't be mad, alright?" The russian asked, leaning his forehead to the other with a smile.

"I'm not. Just… Back off a little bit. You're stepping into my personal space." Indonesia said, pushing the larger male away from him.

 _I don't want to get hurt anymore_.

"Fine. But at least let me take a bath too. I'm wet already." Russia said. Those hazel eyes accidentally moved to stares at the other's abs, before he startled and turned his back to Russia.

"…Do as you like."

The russian smiled. He patted Indonesia's wet hair softly, before taking a shampoo and pour the liquid on top of those dark-brown hair.

"Hey, what are you—"

"Your hair is really soft, Indonesiya. Like a cat's fur." Russia chuckled. The brown haired male just huffed lightly, feeling embarassed when his hair being washed by the taller man.

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Geez. At least don't let all of your paperworks scattered on the floor next time, okay?" Kirana asked, crossing her arms.

"We won't do it again." Russia smiled to the smaller female, as Indonesia turned his head away. She huffed, before turning her back and walked away. Russia patted Indonesia's head softly when she's out of the sight, looking at the smaller male with a smile. Indonesia also turned his head to the russian, before the larger male kissed the indonesian softly.

"I'll see you soon, okay?" Russia said after the kiss, smiling to the other male. Indonesia just formed a thin smile, and nodded his head lightly.

" _Yeah… Sure."_

Russia kissed Indonesia's forehead, before finally walked to the front door. After the russian seemed to leave his house, Indonesia looked at the front door with a dull eyes.

 _This is useless. No matter how many affections he would give, the fact that he didn't remember me won't change._

Indonesia turned his back, before walked to his working room to do the paperworks he left undone yesterday.

 _This is going to be a painful life._

* * *

"Brother, why're you so sudden going to Japan?" Kirana asked, looking at her brother's plane ticket that shows the flight day is tomorrow. Indonesia didn't answered, yet he keep on working his paperworks. This pissed her off, before she took the pen that he's holding.

"Brother! What happened to you?! Lately, you've been overworking and goes other countries without telling me!"

"It is none of your business, Kirana. Now give me my pen back." Indonesia said, sounded cold not like he's always sounded. Not the kind tone he would always use.

"It IS my problem! What happen to you? You… You've changed suddenly, Putra…"

He stayed silent. The indonesian male rolled his eyes to the side, before he blows a sigh.

"Nothing happened. I'm just tired. Now please give me my pen back, I need to finish all of this paperworks before my flight tomorrow." He said, looking at her again. Those hazel eyes widens, when founding Kirana is holding her tears.

"Brother, what happened to you…? Just right Russia loves you again, you've turned into like this…" She said, her tone is sounded soft, yet trembling.

" _It feels like… You've turned into a living corpse, having no life at all…"_

Indonesia stood up from his desk, before walking towards her. He reached out, but she slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me! You're not my brother! He… He wouldn't never…" Kirana stopped, as tears now flooding from her eyes. Indonesia blinked for a few times, slightly panicked. He clenched his fists, turning his head away a bit.

" _I'm sorry, Nesia. But please leave my room. I need to work."_

The female Indonesia just sobbed lightly. She puts the pen on the table, before runs out from the room while crying silently. The slightly-tanned male stared at the floor with those dull eyes, before he closed both of it while frowning.

 _He couldn't never turn back time._

 _And thus, nothing will change the fact that Russia forgets him. Nothing changes. This relationship is just hurting him more and more._

 _Like thousand of arrows keep stabbing him._

 _Again._

 _And again._

"…I need to finish my work soon." He mumbled lowly, opening both of his eyes again and sat down on his desk again, continuing the paperworks.

* * *

 _Jakarta, 20.15 p.m._

The day he'll fly to Japan has come. Indonesia right now stands inside Soekarno-Hatta II airport, waiting for his plane.

"Brother, are you seriously going?" Kirana asked, a slight tone of worry can be heard. Indonesia just smiled, patting his twin's head softly.

"Don't worry. I'm a country, so I'll be fine. But if I die… I leave the Indonesia country to you, Kirana." He said, staring at her with a gentle looks.

" _Just wait for me patiently here, okay?"_

Kirana raised her head to look at her twin. She stayed silent, but she nodded her head in understanding.

" _Attention to all passengers of Garuda Indonesia. Your flight to Japan will be fly soon. Please go to the Gate 13…"_

"That's my call, gotta go." He start dragging his suitcase away, but stopped for a second. He looked at his twin, that was keeping a sad face.

Indonesia walked back, hugging Kirana and kissed her forehead. He smiled, before saying goodbye to her while waving. She just smiled thinly, waving back at her dearest brother.

Right when Indonesia gets inside the plane, he looked outside the window. Some days after this flight and his returning, probably this is the last scene he will see.

 _No, but this is the last scene he will see_.

"Can't leave without leaving a message now, would I?" He mumbled in such a low voice, chuckling lightly.

He fastened the seatbelts as he told to, and looked outside the window once again when the plane starts to fly. He looked every part of the scenery outside that round window, before he sensed that the gravity slowly off from his feet, and the large trees turns smaller, along with the buildings that also looked smaller now. Everything looks small, yet looked so beautiful with those dim lights.

 _But this will be his last sightseeing._

Indonesia blows a long sigh, before he pulled out his smartphone and tapped the music application. He plugged his headset, and played a song as he slowly drifted to sleep.

* * *

 _Tokyo, 09.45 a.m._

The brown haired male looked around the Narita Airport. It looked same as always, only with more cleanier and more tidier than his airport.

"As expected, Japan always stays organized…" He chuckled lightly, before walked to a nearby phone booth and starts dialing a number. When connected, he greeted with his usual ones.

" _Indonesia? You already arrived?"_

"Yes. I'm at Narita Airport right now. If you don't mind, can you pick me up? It's okay if you can't." He said.

" _No, no! I'm perfectly good now. Hold on, I'll go and pick you up, okay?"_

"Thanks, Japan. I'll wait for you at the South Gate." He said again, before the call ended. Indonesia puts the phone back, before he walked to the South Gate just like he said before.

"Autumn, huh…" He mumbled lowly.

" _You know, I always wanted to see Autumn or Spring season here." Russia said, looking at Indonesia with a smile._

" _Well, it's spring now. And Japan told us we can go sightseeing around Osaka to look at sakura trees and the castle." The smaller male said, also with a smile._

" _I know that. But… I hope one day we could see Autumn together, so that we can walk around inside the forest, only both of us." The russian said. Indonesia stayed silent, his eyes widened and his cheek are dusted pink. The slightly-tanned male looked away, feeling embarassed._

" _Yeah… I hope we can go and see Autumn together."_

"Indonesia!"

The said male snapped back to the reality when a familiar voice called him out. There's Japan, wearing his usual uniform.

"Are you alright? You looked a bit pale." Japan asked with a worried look on his face.

"I'm fine. Just remembering some scenes in the past." Indonesia replied, reassuring the other with a smile. Japan stayed silent, before both of them walked inside the car that Japan rides within.

"So, do you come here for business?" The japanese male asked, pouring green tea to the other's cup. Indonesia shook his head lightly, before taking the tea and starts sipping it.

"Not really. Actually, I have a request for you."

Japan blinked. He putted down the teapot, holding his cup of tea too in confusion.

" _Do you know any flowers that related to be forgotten?"_

"Ah, yes… I know. Why're you asking me that?" Japan asked back, sipping his tea.

"I need that. And oh, _I also need flowers that represents love._ " Indonesia said again, also sipping his green tea.

"We can go buy the flowers now. There's a flower shop nearby…"

"Sounds great. But let me finish my tea first." The indonesian said, sipping his tea again. Japan only smiled, also enjoying his tea.

Indonesia looked outside. The scene of falling red and yellow leaves looked so beautiful. A smile curved on his lips, but that smile vanished immediately when he remembered something he shouldn't.

"Autumn sure is great, huh. Wish I could grow some maple trees in my country, but Indonesia only have two seasons." Indonesia said.

"Yes. But, I still thought that your country is beautiful. I never gets bored when visited your place." Japan replied with a smile.

"Heh. Thanks." The brunette chuckled lightly, sipping his tea again. "Kirana… She will take over Indonesia soon."

"Soon? Then how about you?" Japan blinked in confusion. The other male didn't answered, instead he keep looking outside with a smile.

 _That looked like a forced one._

"…I'll be gone somewhere. Somewhere that's… Far. Away from you, Kirana, my siblings, and…" Indonesia stopped for a second.

"… _Russia himself."_

Those dark-brown eyes widens. Japan tugged Indonesia's yukata lightly.

"Wait, are you serious?! You're insane!" The japanese said in worried tone. Indonesia turned his head, a gentle smile and looks can be seen on his face.

 _But his eyes stays empty, like there's no soul._

"…It's about time to Kirana for stand on her own. She can't relies on me forever."

 _The same phrase that Russia said last time to him._

"But I won't leave without leaving a message. It just same I'm going without leaving a trace." Indonesia said, finishing his tea with a smile.

"But still… Is this what you really desire? _Leaving all of us and your siblings?"_

The indonesian stayed silent. He closed both of his eyes, putting the cup on the table back before crossing his arms.

"…Can we go to buy the flowers now?" He asked, changing the topic.

" _I need those flowers as my message to him."_

* * *

 _Jakarta, 09.12 a.m._

Two weeks passed so fast. And Indonesia is coming home today. Kirana anticipated his comeback, waiting at the Soekarno-Hatta II airport patiently. Her smile widens when hears an announcement about the plane from Japan has arrived, and not long she founds someone familiar as she runs to that figure— hugging the said person tightly.

"Whoa— Kirana, you've shocked me." Indonesia said while sweatdropping, almost dropping the flowers he bought from Japan.

"Welcome home." She said with a smile. Her looks turned curious when noticing the flowers he bought, and pointed at the most weirdiest, yet a bit scary one flower.

"Why did you bring flowers back?" She asked, sounded confused.

"Ah, about that…"

Indonesia stopped. Kirana blinked her eyes, as Indonesia shook his head lightly.

"I'll tell you when we got home… Okay?"

* * *

" _W-what? You're leaving?"_

The male indonesian nodded his head lightly. Those dull orbs stared at her shining brown ones.

"It's time for you to be Indonesia, Kirana. It'll be not me anymore." He said.

"B-but… Where are you going?" She asked again, her eyes stays widened.

"Somewhere… Far away. Maybe I won't be back… No." He shook his head lightly.

" _I won't be back, Kirana."_

Hearing those words, tears starts flooding on her eyes again. She stared at her twin in disbelief, lightly shaking her head.

"I have a request for you before I leave for eternity." Indonesia said, as he gave both of the different types of flowers to her.

"This… Send them to Russia. Don't say anything, just say it's from me."

"…What does this flowers means?" She asked, looking at the flower for a second and looked back at him.

"… _You'll know it soon enough, Kirana. No— Indonesia."_

The indonesian male smiled. He hugged his twin for awhile, before he kissed her forehead.

"I'll leave everything to you. Thus…" He stopped for a second, before turning his back.

" _Your name will be known as Indonesia from now on, as myself will stay as Adrian Saputra once again."_

Kirana grabbed his wrist, preventing him for leaving. Tears are flooding hardly from her eyes, her other hand was holding the flowers he gave tightly.

"Don't… Leave me alone…"

"…I can't do that, Ki— Indonesia. It's time for me now…"

" _To sleep for eternity. And even if I gone, just stay smiling, alright?"_

She startled. Her grab against Putra's hand now slowly loosened. He took off his white-transparent scarf with the Pancasila pin, before he wrapped the scarf around her neck and pinned it on her chest. He smiled to her, turning away and finally leaves the house again.

She didn't chase after him. She just stayed silent there, crying without a sound that can be heard. Only some small sobs filling the room.

"Brother…"

* * *

Putra, who's now walking around randomly, staring at the cloudy sky with a blank looks. He sighed deeply, before walked to an area which there's no one around. The lad pulled out his dagger, pointing it to his chest. He closed both of his eyes, before finally stabbed himself.

His hand turned numb suddenly. A hard pain hits his nerves when the knife pierces his flesh. Red liquids flowing hardly from his chest, his balance is slowly gone from his feet. That body of his fell to the grass hardly, his breath that once was calm now is ragged.

"…Russia…" He called out in such a hoarse voice. Tears starts flooding on his eyes, before finally he closed both of those brownish orbs.

"…I'm sorry, Ivan…"

Rain pours the large city later. The unmoving body now laying helplessly on the ground, not moving an inch nor breathing. Someone's scream can be heard, and the body immediately being surrounded.

"Sir Indonesia?! Why did he— someone! Call me an ambulance now!" Jakarta yelled loudly, holding Indonesia's body on his arms that seemed never to move again.

Jakarta looked at his former superior. Tears also flooded on his eyes. The kind, yet also a hard-working man he ever met, now has finally slept for eternity.

" _Why… Why did you committed suicide, sir…?"_

* * *

 _Moscow, 16.23 p.m._

"U-uhm, Sir Russia… There's a flower package sent to you by sir Indonesia."

Russia turned his attention from the snow that was falling gently outside to Lithuania. He took the still-fresh looked flowers, which one bouquet is a red spider lily, and one is a bouquet of red roses. The russian raised one of his eyebrows, before he asked the smaller male.

"What does red spider lily means?" He asked in confusion.

"E-eh? I don't know, sir… M-maybe you could ask Japan?"

Russia stayed silent. He immediately went to his office, turning on his computer and googled the meaning of red spider lily.

 _Red Spider Lily(Hanakotoba)_

 _A flower meaning that being forgotten; or someone that it's better to be forgotten._

Those violet eyes widens. What does this mean?

The russian flinched when he heard his phone ringing all of the sudden. Russia put the flowers on his desk, before walked to the phone and picked it up in hesitation.

" _Privet…?"_

"… _I'm sorry about my brother."_

He startled.

"W-what? What do you mean?" He asked, his voice sounded trembling. He could hear some sobs from the other side, and fear starts creeping on his heart and mind.

" _Adrian Saputra… He committed suicide yesterday. His body is found with a knife on his chest…"_

The male froze. Putra? _Committed suicide?_ Why?

" _The flowers is from him. It's his last message to you… As for the meaning, he loves you, but it's best for you to forget him…"_

Russia stayed silent. He hangs up immediately. Those violet eyes stays widened, and tears starts flooding on his eyes.

 _Why? Why did you committed suicide?_

The liquid fell from his eyes hardly. He fell on his knees, grabbing his own chest that feels in pain. It feels like something squeezed it, or something stabbed his heart.

 _It hurts him, like a knife stabbed his chest suddenly._

"I-Indonesiya…" He called out softly, some sobbing escaped from his lips. Those violet orbs glanced at the flowers on his desk, before he slowly stands up and reached it, hugging the red spider lily ones, as his tear droplets fell to each petal of the flowers.

" _Like the sunflowers, your smile is the most brightest one I've ever seen."_

Russia flinched. He's sure that was Indonesia's voice just now. The russian turned around, but founding no one there.

" _Thanks for being here. I'm glad you're by my side."_

He gritted his teeth. All of the sudden, all of his memories with Indonesia flooded into his brain. The smiling face of Putra, the sad face, the troubled face, the blushed face, everything…

" _Until the day Kirana can stand by her own… Let's be together, forever."_

Again, he fell on his knees. His other hand intended to grabbed the roses, but he ended up scattering it on the floor. Loud sobs can be heard from him now, as he hugged the red spider lily tightly.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…!"

The same words repeated again and again from his mouth. He regretted it. If only he didn't misunderstands Indonesia, he wouldn't fell and lost his memories, forgetting all memories he had with his lover.

 _And even, he should be happy with Putra and marrying him, laughing and talking, filling inside this large house._

"What have I done…" He mumbled lowly, tears keep flooding from his eyes. It wouldn't stop, even himself is trembling.

" _Putra… I'm sorry…"_

Belarus, who's on the other side of the room, only leans on the wall hearing his brother's weeping. She turned her heels, entering the room before called him out.

"… _Brat,_ do you want to go to Indonesia, once again…?"

Russia raised his head, looking at his sister. The younger woman approached him, before wiped those tears from him softly and throws him a thin smile.

"Kirana called me. She said that she wants you on her brother's grave…"

The russian stayed silent. He rolled those violet orbs to look at the flowers, before closing both of his eyes.

"… _Prepare me a flight. I will go to Indonesia, now."_

"Be careful, brother." Belarus said to the russian. He only nodded, before gave her a smile. The man turned around, goes to his private jet. When he's onboard, he looked outside the window with such a sad eyes. He frowned, as he closed both of his eyes.

 _Please… If I died, then please let me meet once again with Indonesiya._

After some minutes, the jet finally take off from the airport. Belarus only looked at the silhouette of the plane, slowly dissappearing in the sky.

 _But yet, she suddenly had a bad feeling about this._

* * *

Russia was sleeping at ease, before he wakes up when a strong shocked the plane. He blinked in confusion, when everyone panicked.

"Sir! Our left wing suddenly exploded!" One of the crew reported. Russia's eyes widened, before he unfasten his seatbelt and went to the captain's cabin.

"Captain, what is going on?!" The russian asked.

"We don't know, sir! The left wing suddenly exploded, and this plane cannot fly any further! We can't reach Indonesia if like this!"

 _Oh, no._

"Basically… We'll crashed soon?" Russia asked, sounded panicked a bit.

"Yes— our location is at Andaman Sea, near Thailand sir—"

"Send SOS message! We have to—"

Before his sentence finished, the plane crashed the sea hardly. Waters start to enters the plane, and all crews start to panic.

"Everyone! Wear your life jacket and get out from the exit door!" The captain ordered, standing up from his seat.

"Captain, most of the plane drowned! There's no life jacket can be found!" One of the crew said.

"What?!"

Russia panicked. This is a condition he shouldn't be in. He stumbled when the plateform he's stepping on starts to turn 165 degree. The water starts to flood on his feet, and the next second was—

 _The plane exploded._

Russia slowly opened his eyes. He couldn't see anything but a dark-bluish kind of color. Is he drowned inside the sea?

"Indo…nesiya…" He called out, his oxygen starts to run out. The water starts filling his lungs, until the last oxygen choked out from him.

 _Please, if this is the end…_

He slowly closed his eyes. His hands now cannot be moved anymore, and his feet also turned numb. None of his body can't move anymore.

… _Then let me go to your place to meet you, Indonesiya._

Thus, Russia drowned into the deep sea. The plane also crashed into pieces, and there's no survivor can be seen. Only fire remains on the plane's corpse, but those fires also slowly died down because of the sea.

* * *

 _When he's awake, he sees nothing but pitch black. Everywhere his eyes wanders, only darkness he found._

 _But the darkness vanished when someone called him out._

" _Russia."_

 _The voice sounded familiar. He turned his head, founding a similar male standing not far away from him. The other male was smiling, with an extended arms._

" _Indo…nesiya?" He called out, slowly approaching the brown-haired male. The said one only nodded his head, making a smile appears on the russian's face. He ran to the smaller male, before hugging him tightly._

" _At last… At last, I got to meet you." Russia said in a trembling voice. Indonesia only smiled, tears dropped from his closed eyes._

" _I know." Putra said, releasing the hug and looked at the russian._

" _I miss you so much, Ivan."_

— _ **The End—**_


End file.
